Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Dave "The Enlightened Bassist"

Full Name: David Whittemore
Birthday: March 27, 1992
Height: 6’0
Weight: 190
Body Type: average male build, I guess.
Occupation: Bassist for Bad Spider, wannabe-philosopher, college student. No money-making job.
Ethnicity/Species: Human, Scots-Irish/German/Slavic. Totem animal-Grizzly bear.
Faith: mix of neo-buddhism, therianism, existentialism, flowery half-ass tao, string theory, determinism, nudist colonies, confused socialism, 9th amendment rights, ghosts, reiki/chakra power, and whatever he imagines when he’s tripping.
Sexuality: Straight
Partner: Vivienne
Music: I Read the Giver, Interpol, Tool, Of Montreal, Say Anything (even the new album he says he hates), Nine Inch Nails, Modest Mouse, The Dead Science, Nirvana, -some- Rasputina, The Beatles, Arcade Fire, The New Pornographers, Oasis, Radiohead, Blind Melon, Mother Mother, -some- AFI, The Flaming Lips, The Who, Smahsing Pumpkins, Crosby Stills Nash (and Young), Franz Ferdinand, Alice in Chains, Led Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, The Pixies, David Bowie, Talking Heads, Skinny Puppy, Pink Floyd, The Grateful Dead, Adam and the Ants, Syd Barrett, The Smiths, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Depeche Mode, Mozart, Soundgarden, -some- MSI, The Servant, Violent Femmes, The Blood Brothers, Gorillaz, The Dresden Dolls kinda, and just enough Marilyn Manson for Dan to still like him. TOTAL MUSIC SNOB. Classic rock, grunge, industrial NOT electronica, psychedelic, folk, indie, some metal, alternative. some new wave, classical, blues, jazz. No pop. Ever. Or country or rap or--
Fashion: What fashion? He doesn’t care how he looks and dresses for comfort—baggy shirts, flannels, hoodies and jackets, jeans, sneakers, barefoot, and sandals. Band tees usually. Muted “stoner”/autumn colors. Will wear Rastafarian stripes—like, the ONLY bright stuff he owns. Wears those big baggy striped muted hoodies….can’t describe ‘em too well but they remind me of afghan quilts….And boxers, never briefs.
Personality: Appears (and often is) easygoing when not being all bummed out and insecure-ish. :/ Loves a juicy piece of gossip. Secretly wonders if he’s gay. Loves making fun of Dan (is usually nice when he teases but he doesn’t drop stuff soon enough). Dave however did blow a fuse after Dan was crushing hardcore on Jack, their guitarist, although Dan’s in a straight relationship and had no intention to end it. So yeah, a bit of a homophobe. Goal in life: to get married and have children, and support himself from his music and philosophical studies. Plays bass in Bad Spider, is Dan’s best friend. Has a huge drug problem—too much special K, burned out on it--and smokes chronically; often unresponsive or slow. Is book-smart but not people-smart, is naïve, and is often jealous of Dan’s position in the band as frontman. Is super lazy and just freeloads off his parents for money; kinda spoiled. Has a huge interest in new age philosophy and spirituality, makes fun of furry shit, and hates boppy poppy electronic and pop music (unless he likes it in which case he’s hypocritical but no one can question him). Is often a hypocrite. :/ Used to see girls for sex when he was single, now he’s in a so-far celibate relationship. Wants to move back to his beloved hometown of Eugene, Oregon, but wants to stay in the band, too. Is going to college for a degree in philosophy. Has little real world experience and often has little motivation to get any. Generous, kind, likes giving gifts. Dave is the kind of guy you’d like to hug I guess. He’s squishy.
Drugs: Pot constantly, special K (burned out on it like woah), alcohol (drinks less often but in many ways is worse than Dan), psilocybin. Is sober about 40% of the time.
Likes: most seafood, playing music, his old English sheepdog Cassie, sleeping, waking up at 5 in the morning even though he sleeps later, giving people presents, porno magazines, tripping, musing about the universe, grunge music, munchies foods (cheese puffs are his favorite), vegetables, curries, mineral water, lazing, painting (he kinda sucks but does it anyway), writing, philosophy, communism and socialism (he has a confused idea of what he wants when it comes to this stuff), harassing Dan, children, Oregon.
Dislikes: Conservatives (no matter what), The Birthday Massacre, Lady GaGa, almost all Riot Grrrl music (all three are his bitter enemies), how much juice his parents buy (a lot of the fridge is juice containers), neon colors, pink and purple, super gay shit, oysters (bad experience with a rotten one), cilantro, overly sugary stuff, energy drinks, most sodas, that Dan’s the frontman instead of him, tight pants/skinny jeans, tobacco, shaving, showering, little dogs, being harassed by Dan, working, material possessions (he is SUCH a wannabe of…well…everything), capitalism (he just says this because he’s lazy and doesn’t want a job), cooking, anything requiring any effort.
Movies: Donnie Darko, K-Pax, Yellow Submarine, The Wall, V for Vendetta, Watchmen, A Beautiful Mind, From Hell, North by Northwest, Be Kind Rewind, LOTR.

Fuzzy little bear tail!
Fluffy face, thick muzzle, high forehead.
Major-fuzzy ears.
Lots of fur down the chest in a ruff.
Thick beard-fur-stuff under his muzzle.
PAWPADS. Dark brown.
Little bit of a beer belly fat deposit going on.
Big nose.
Thin lips, long face.
Eyes are often reddish from drugs.
Looks sleepy a lot of the time.
Auburn-brown hair.
Scruffy halfass beard-thing.

David Whittemore, Bad Spider, and art are © Anna "Darkmoon" K. 2011

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